Fun Plaques - Text
3" x 5-1/2" Adhesive Backed. Except
where noted.
Raised gold letters and borders with adhesive
strips.
| ITEM NUMBER |
SHORT DESCRIPTION | FULL SAYING ON PLAQUE All Plaques are ALL CAPS |
| FP-001 | Panic Button | (graphic) (Red / White)(2-1/2" x 3-3/4") |
| FP-002 | Relief | Relief (boat graphic) (Red / White) |
| FP-003 | Notice to Landlubbers | Notice to Landlubbers A marine toilet (we call it a "head") is a complicated mechanism. If you toss even the smallest thing into it-even a paper matchstick or a hank of hair-it will probably choke. AND THERE ARE NO PLUMBERS AT SEA! If you have never operated one before, the skipper or mate will be glad to show you how. |
| FP-004 | We run a tight Ship | WE RUN A TIGHT SHIP However, lately some of us have been getting tight a little too often! |
| FP-005 | Pilot's seat only | NOTICE! This watercraft is operated from the pilot's seat only! Those not liking the manner in which it is being operated kindly notice the piece of mistletoe attached to the skipper's coat tail. |
| FP-006 | Swell ship | This is a swell ship for the skipper but a hell ship for the crew |
| FP-007 | Notice the head | NOTICE Please do not put anything into the "HEAD" unless you have eaten it first |
| FP-008 | Marriages performed | Marriages performed by the captain of this vessel are good for the duration of this voyage only |
| FP-009 | I am the captain | I am the captain of this ship and I have my wife's permission to say so |
| FP-010 | CAPTAINS WORD | The captain's word is law |
| FP-011 | To my crew | To my crew Please be reasonable and do it my way The captain |
| FP-012 | Welcome aboard | Welcome aboard Relax our ship doesn't always look like this Sometimes it's worse |
| FP-013 | Cocktail Hour | Cocktail hour aboard 0700 to 0659 daily and Sundays |
| FP-014 | I'm not a fast captain | I'm not a fast captain I'm not a slow captain I'm a half-fast captain the captain |
| FP-015 | This is my ship | This is my ship and I'll do as I Damn please |
| FP-016 | Gamblers & Fancy women | NOTICE- All gamblers & fancy women must register with the captain before boat leaves dock |
| FP-017 | Opinions Expressed | The Opinions expressed by the "CAPTAIN" of this vessel are not necessarily those of the "MANAGEMENT" |
| FP-018 | In these isles | In these isles of sun & fun we never flush for number one |
| FP-019 | Vast projects | Don't start vast projects with half vast ideas |
| FP-020 | My Husband | My husband is the CAPTAIN but I've been appointed ADMIRAL |
| FP-021 | My JOB | MY JOB It's not my job to run the yacht; the horn I cannot blow It's not my job to say how far the yacht's allowed to go. It's not my job to throttle down, or even clang the bell-but let the damn thing hit the dock and see who catches hell! |
| FP-022 | I must be successful | I must be successful I owe everybody The captain |
| FP-023 | Like a woman | Like a woman, The rigging costs more than the hull |
| FP-024 | All fishermen are liars | All fishermen are liars except you and me and I'm not so sure about you |
| FP-025 | Definition of a "yacht" | Definition of a "yacht" If you ask, "how much"? You can't afford it |
| FP-026 | SAVE WATER | SAVE WATER Shower with a friend |
| FP-027 | Men & Boys | The difference between men and boys is the price of their toys |
| FP-028 | Collision at sea | A collision at sea can ruin your entire day |
| FP-029 | Be Tolerant | Be tolerant of THE SKIPPER who disagrees with you He has the right to his RIDICULOUS OPINION |
| FP-030 | OUR CAPTAIN is always right | Our Captain is always right misinformed perhaps, sloppy, crude, bullheaded, fickle, even stupid, but, NEVER WRONG! |
| FP-031 | Lindsay's Law | LINDSAY'S LAW When your draft exceeds the water's depth you are most assuredly aground |
| FP-032 | No Smoking | Positively NO SMOKING allowed (Red / White) |
| FP-033 | Our skipper is a wise | OUR SKIPPER is a wise, creative, strong, clever, amazingly popular human being. Who, unfortunately, happens to be an irritating, obnoxious, conceited, no good son if a bitch! |
| FP-034 | Our captain says | Our captain says "If you can't dazzle them -with brilliance- baffle them with bullshit!" |
| FP-035 | Once I thought | Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken |
| FP-036 | Soft shoes | Please SOFT SHOES only |
| FP-037 | Green to Green | Green to Green Red to Red all is well go ahead. When in danger or in doubt run in circles, scream and shout |
| FP-038 | Old Sailors | Old sailors never die they just get a little dinghy |
| FP-039 | Thank you for not smoking | Thank you for not smoking |
| FP-040 | Free beer tomorrow | Free beer tomorrow |
| FP-041 | Sign Checks | My job is to sit on the weather rail and sign checks The owner |
| FP-042 | Murphy's law | MURPHY'S LAW Anything than can go wrong- will at the worst possible time |
| FP-043 | Crew's that think | Crews that think they know everything are very annoying to me because I am one of the few that does The skipper |
| FP-044 | Put it all together | This crew finally put it all together however they forgot where they put it |
| FP-045 | Two things | The skipper only does two things wrong Everything he says and everything he does |
| FP-046 | Soar with the eagles | It is difficult to soar with eagles when you work with turkeys |
| FP-047 | Life or death | Boating is not a matter of life or death It's more important than that |
| FP-048 | Sailing season | We interrupt this Marriage for the duration of the Sailing Season |
| FP-049 | Fishing Season | We interrupt this Marriage for the duration of the fishing Season |
| FP-050 | Why be difficult | Why be difficult when with a little more effort you can be impossible |
| FP-051 | Coming home | No matter where you may roam the best part is coming home |
| FP-052 | Early to bed | Early to bed early to rise fish like hell and make up lies |
| FP-053 | Three dimensions | Boats come in three dimensions Length, Width and Debt |
| FP-054 | Hole in the water | A boat is a hole in the water Surrounded by fiberglass into which you throw money |
| FP-055 | Fiberglass trees | If god meant for us to have fiberglass boats he would have planted fiberglass trees |
| FP-056 | Get lost | I'll never get lost everyone tells me where to go |
| FP-057 | With my luck | With my luck when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport |
| FP-058 | Tasks Worth Doing | Tasks worth doing and friends worth having make life worth living. |
| FP-059 | Like concrete | Some minds are like concrete all mixed up and permanently set |
| FP-060 | Taste Makes Waists | Taste Makes Waists |
| FP-061 | Robinson Crusoe | Not even Robinson Crusoe could get everything done by Friday |
| FP-062 | Catch up | Just when you catch up with the Joneses they refinance |
| FP-063 | Football season | We interrupt this marriage to bring you the football season |
| FP-064 | Lose you head | Don't lose your head to gain a minute you need your head your brains are in it |
| FP-065 | To be rich | It's no longer a sin to be rich it's a miracle |
| FP-066 | Soccer | Soccer is not a matter of life or death It's more important than that |
| FP-067 | Runs on gas | This boat runs on gas not thanks |
| FP-068 | Tennis is my racket | Tennis is my racket |
| FP-069 | Golfing links friends | Golfing links friends |
| FP-070 | God loves you and I'm trying | God loves you and I'm trying |
| FP-071 | Nurses have patience | Nurses have patience |
| FP-072 | Teachers | Teachers have class |
| FP-073 | Complaints | Complaints will be carefully ignored |
| FP-074 | Happiness is homemade | Happiness is homemade |
| FP-075 | Greatest MOM | World's greatest mom |
| FP-076 | Greatest DAD | World's greatest dad |
| FP-077 | Super Secretary | Super Secretary |
| FP-078 | Left handed genius | Left handed genius |
| FP-079 | I forgot to remember | I forgot to remember |
| FP-080 | Damn, I'm good | Damn, I'm good |
| FP-081 | Super Mom | Super mom works here |
| FP-082 | Over worked | Over worked and underpaid |
| FP-083 | Happiness is being a grandparent | Happiness is being a grandparent |
| FP-084 | Fast living | Fast living and fast driving may get you to the finish line too soon |
| FP-085 | There is no right way | There is no right way to do the wrong thing |
| FP-086 | Wanted | Wanted a good woman who can clean and cook fish, dig worms, and owns boat, motor and trailer. Send picture of boat |
| FP-087 | My wife told me | My wife told me she would leave me if I didn't give up fishing. Damn I am going to miss that girl |
| FP-088 | Bad Day | A bad day on the boat is better than the best day at work |
